One year ago...(yesterday)...

Well our little Aysha May turned ONE yesterday. It was quite a day...but we made it and had a pretty good birthday for her I think!! I spent some of the day thinking about a year ago of course...I wonder if all Mom's do that!?!?! Do you think about the day you delivered your baby and how it all went and what you were doing at certain minutes!?!?! I do...and it's interesting to reflect on them...but anyways...here are some pictures of our little princess joining our family a year ago "officially"...she was so so tiny...and just beautiful...(not so much can be said for Mommy though) :) :) :)

Klous was so excited to hold his baby sister and has been such an amazing big brother to her...we sure are lucky to have him as our BIG helper!! It's much needed...and Aysha sure adores and loves him!!!
And Daddy...what can I say...Aysha has been his little princess from day one...and I don't ever see that changing...he's an amazing dad and husband and I couldn't be any luckier. He keeps me going each day and takes over when he can tell I need a break...I love you babe and your kids adore you as well!!!
Here's our little princess...can't say she still looks like that though huh!!!
Gramma Judy was here a year ago too...that was a pure joy...and we can't wait for her to be out here again with this new baby...2 months of her help will be grately appreciated!!!
Now for yesterday...here's our Princess now...she's just a doll and we love her to death!! She's discovered her tongue and thinks it's cool to make noises with it!!!
Can't get enough of those eyes...so so pretty!!!
And I couldn't be happier with her hair actually growing...cuz the ponies just make her that much cuter!!!
She truly is a Princess...and she knows it...didn't mind wearing her tiara yesterday!! That was the last minute theme for the party...(thanks Auntie Shauna for the idea) :) :) :)
Mommy and the kiddos...crazy to think it's been a year...and in less then a month there will be another one...oh dear!! I sure do love them though!! Happy Birthday Aysha May!! We love having you in our family!!!

Family Pictures...

Thanks to a great person Ryan works with, their wanting family pictures for their website, and us needing NEW ones done...we got some pretty cute pictures!! Kelly & Jeremy are truly amazing and are GREAT with their work...and touched these up and brought out some great colors!! We're really impressed...and hope you like them too...I didn't want to post ALL the good ones, because I want to use some for the Christmas letter...but here are a few decent ones!!!

Family shot...
Klous & Aysha...she actually wasn't crying...
Aysha May and her flowers...I LOVE the color in this one...
Klous playing with the leaves...so cute :)
Playing with Aysha...
And playing with Klous...
And the last family shot...well not really, but the one that I'm showing you!! Pretty cute family I must say!!!
Thank you so much Kelly and Jeremy for your work and help and everything!! The pictures are GREAT!!!

Better things...

Thank you to all who commented and posted on my last post...I really do appreciate it. Although I'd really like to know who posts comments and remains "ANONYMOUS"???? That's a bit annoying...but whatever...please make yourself known if you're willing!?!?!?

Anyways...onto bigger and better things...thought I'd post some cute pictures of the kids!! They really do make me smile even amongst everything else in life!!!

Aysha had a bit of a BAD HAIR DAY the other night after bath time :) I told Daddy he better get pictures!!!
Check out that hair...ok so maybe the eyes are a little more noticeable :) Cute girl!!
Aysha & Klous were playing with hats the other day...I thought they looked pretty cute!!!
Can't really see it, but he is wearing a brown hat too...crooked of course!!
She's getting brave and trying to climb and walk and move more...so that means more accidents and face plants!! I don't know if you can really see it...but look at her cheek and check out the bruise...and the one just above her eyebrow...those happened in the same day!!!
And this is me when I was little and my parents had my pictures taken...I had a pretty bruised face...I guess the things that happen to you as a child happen to your children too :) :) :)
And finally this morning we woke up to a LITTLE bit of snow...and Klous was real excited about it!!! He ate his breakfast and then had to get dressed and ready to play in it!! There was only enough to wipe off the cars and make a few snowballs...but he had fun!!!
Him and Daddy had fun throwing them at Mommy too...not very nice huh!!
It's gonna be fun this winter with Klous!! But he'll have to get over and realize the way snow works in Utah...it comes and then melts in the same day usually!!! He wasn't real happy about that this morning...maybe we'll get some GOOD storms and he'll enjoy it more!!!

Can I vent!?!?!

This is how I've been feeling lately...only I have one in the tummy too...can't tell if she does too or not!?!?!?!

Ok...I am aware that I have a TON of blessing and things to be grateful for in my life...but I am just not accepting them or enjoying them or appreciating them much lately. I'm so stressed, overwhelmed, frustrated, annoyed, upset, irritated, and just down right grumpy....I don't know what to do. I mean I have a few ideas, but I'm too dang stubborn or prideful to do them and move on. I just want to dwell on things for a bit I guess and have my pity party, then I'll move on I'm sure. I just can't handle things it seems anymore.

I mean my kids seem to drive me up the wall within the first 15 minutes of being awake in the morning...then things get ok...then it's naptime and they're BEYOND tired and I'm just as cranky...then Ryan comes home from work and I just can't handle the kids at all by that point. They don't even do anything specific...I just get annoyed...
Ryan comes home from work and I bite his head off...he loves me and accepts me and tries to put up with it, but I really don't know why or how he does it?? It drives me nuts that he has to work and can't stay home and help me more...but I really do appreciate all he does for our family and how he takes care of us so that I don't have to work. And I know if it was up to him he'd have his own business and own hours and lots of money...but unfortunately things aren't that way and we can't always get what we want. So here we sit...and I just have to accept and appreciate what I have.
Then I just get annoyed with people who act at times that they understand my situation and that they really do care...then something happens and it all SLAPS me in the face that they really could care less and don't really want to help in anyway...it drives me nuts. I know I have really great people around me who do care and would do anything...but for some reason those few that SLAP me in the face seem to outweigh the others.
I've struggled with this pregnancy from day one...I really hate to admit it and feel HORRIBLE about it...but I've tried to grow closer to the baby and bond and be excited and anxious to meet him and have him in our family...and yes, things have gotten better...but not completely. This was in NO WAY our plan or the way we expected things to happen...so the added stress and feelings just freak me out. I want this baby to know that I do love him...and that I will care for him like my other kids...but at the same time I feel so bad and guilty that Aysha didn't get her "baby" time...she gets so jealous and upset when I hold another baby or acknowledge another baby...what will she do when he's here CONSTANTLY!?!?! Adjust I hope!?!?!
I don't know...I'm just struggling lately I suppose...I have Aysha birthday on Nov. 24th...Thanksgiving on the 26th...Doctor appts every 2 weeks then EVERY week...Christmas shopping to get done...a house to clean and get ready for a new baby AND my mom coming to visit...a baby due Dec. 25th, but being induced the 21st hopefully...then Christmas...then New Year's...then my momma comes Jan. 5th. I am excited about all these things...but MAN...so much in ONE MONTH!?!?! I can do it right???
Ok enough venting...I just need to breathe I suppose and realize I'm a mom and a woman and I asked for all of this and I can do it...right??? It doesn't help that I've gotten this stupid depression crap with this pregnancy too, so I'm just down about EVERYTHING it seems...that's so not me. Snap out of it Becki...I wish it was that easy...just a pity party for myself...if you made it to the end...thanks for reading!!! I'm done now....

Halloween and some!?!?

Well I'm a bit behind...yet again. Sorry...here are some of our fun pictures from Halloween and getting ready for it!! Klous got to plant pumpkins in Grandma & Grandpa Pulham's garden this year (Ryan's grandparents)...and Grandma put his initials on one pumpkin...so this was HIS pumpkin!!!
He wanted to help Daddy carve it...but wasn't so sure about the slimy insides...
he touched them...but wasn't too excited about it...
He wouldn't do it again...just one time!!!
Aysha wanted to help too...she just played with the top!!!
And thought it felt a little funny too :)
Carving the face...
And the finished product...pretty cool when it's lit up!!!
Klous posing by it...
And Aysha too :)
Aysha's little personality has really been coming out lately...she's definitely a girl and has a LOT of drama at times...her screams and squeals are something...but the giggles, kisses, smiles, and hugs make up for it!! She's been making funny faces lately too...and it's hard to catch them on camera...so here are just some cute pictures!!

We headed to Grandma Jones' work for a little Trick-or-Treating...here are the kids with her...
We went to Daddy's work too, but didn't get any pictures...oops...here's Aysha the day of Halloween though...she wasn't too sure what to think about the costume and hat!!!
They were all pretty cute and excited though!! Klous & Zack were Spiderman and Aysha a ladybug...our friends/neighbors Summer & Seth came along with us as well. She was WonderWoman and Seth was a giraffe!! CUTE kids!!!
Here's Klous & Aysha...he didn't wear the mask for very long...he couldn't really see...but he liked his BIG muscles!!!
And knocking on the doors...they all got PLENTY of candy...we're still going through and trying to get rid of it!!! Yay for holidays huh!!!